Julie took me out in Southampton with her friends Donna and Alison, and our first stop was Ocean Village. It felt as though we’d gone on holiday without leaving the city. The evening was warm and Mediterranean, and we sat upstairs in an open-air rooftop garden overlooking Southampton Water.

The skyline had changed since I was last here. I kept spotting buildings I didn’t recognise, but as the sun went down over the water, it was beautiful. Outside, the parked cars looked like they belonged to people who say things such as, “We’ll just take the Ferrari tonight.” Inside, the four of us were getting to know one another and enjoying the view.

Naturally, the setting for our Charlie’s Angels photo was the posh toilet. I’m not sure we struck fear into the hearts of any international villains, but we looked ready to try.

Next we moved on to a little Greek restaurant. It was much more like a friendly café, with lovely staff, meat pittas, chips and ouzo. I was the difficult customer with a glass of water and a halloumi pitta.

Halfway through, I became convinced the halloumi was chicken. I tore off a piece and submitted it to the table for independent testing. The verdict was unanimous: halloumi. I accepted their finding, although my mouth continued to file an appeal.

Our final stop was a lovely little pub with a drag act. By then everyone else had embraced the spirit of the evening, while I remained steadfastly loyal to water. Julie and Alison got chatting to two transvestites dressed up for the night, asking about their lives and how they got ready. They told us they’d even been to a stylist before coming out.

The attention to detail was impressive. Hair, outfit, the whole look. Then I caught sight of one of them standing at the bar with a stance that said, “I’ve just finished digging up the A34.” It was the contrast that made me laugh: hours spent perfecting the glamour, followed by the posture of someone waiting for a cement mixer.

Ocean views, Ferraris, a toilet photo shoot, a halloumi investigation and a drag act. It was an excellent night out with Julie, Donna and Alison—and a reminder that the best evenings tend to wander somewhere you hadn’t expected.